The Cleveland Improv was the place to be for comedy on New Year’s Eve. There were 2 shows scheduled for the evening. The first show at 7:30pm and the late show at 10:15pm. Quinn Patterson would be the MC for both shows. Local comics Jeff Blanchard and Mike Polk plus Jason Dixon from Kansas City, Mo and Doug Saulnier from New York City.

The first show had about 200 people in attendance. They were a younger, dressier crowd. It was New Year’s Eve and their stomach’s were full from the earlier buffet that the club offered with the first show. Quinn comes to the stage to warm up the crowd. He started off a little slow for Quinn. He quickly picked up his tempo and had the crowd laughing and ready for the first comic.

Jeff Blanchard was the first comic in the lineup to take the stage. He took a quick scan of the crowd and decided to talk about his disdain for vegetarians. He had the crowd laughing right away and kept it going for the next 20 minutes. Jeff covered various topics, including Starbucks, Caribou Coffee and The Cleveland Browns. He had an idea on how to get the Browns to the Superbowl next year. He had a solid set with his usual high energy and hatred.

Local comic Mike Polk is the second comic to perform. Mike starts out by empathizing with the crowd. He wondered if anyone had a better place to be on this New Year’s Eve. Mike is always playful with the crowd and tells the stories of his life. It is almost like a version of “how I spent my summer vacation in Cleveland”. He has stories about the weddings he goes to and what not to do at his wedding. He kept the audience laughing. He also used video to show a “David Hasselhoff 2008 Calendar”. It was a funny, creative medium, but probably not the right venue for it. Mike never lost the crowd, but it lost steam at about the month of April. He would not use it in the second show. All in all, Mike had a very funny set.

The next comic for the evening was Jason Dixon, from Kansas City. He had a really good set. He had great delivery. A continuous set of one liners. The crowd loved him and he had steady laughter the whole time. He does a few Middle Eastern impressions that are hilarious. The voice and the mannerisms are right on. He had a great rapport with the audience and seemed to be enjoying himself. He finished with a solid set.

The headliner for this show would be Doug Saulnier. Originally from Boston, now living in the Bronx, he still carried his accent from south Boston. What a character he was. Got right into it with sex jokes and dick jokes. He moved around a lot on the stage. He had some funny stuff and the crowd liked him. He may have gone a little too far with drinking and sex jokes. He may have pushed it a bit too much, and it got old. He seem to pick up on that and moved into jokes about being Irish and his screwed up family. He poked fun at them and himself. After that he finished up pretty good and was waiting for Quinn to wrap the show up. Quinn was not in the room and Doug threw in one more funny bit about the bathroom being “a vagina closet”. It was hilarious.

Quinn came back to the stage and closed it down. It was a good show. Everyone had good sets. The crowd was slow to get into it but stayed with all the comics and really enjoyed the show. It was about 9:15pm. The night was young for comedy. The best was yet to come as the evening moved on.

I had about an hour to kill so I went into the bar and hung out. Jeff was taking care of some business so I sat at the bar and watched the crowd for the late show mill in. This crowd was a little bit older and they knew it was New Year’s Eve. I saw more tiaras on the heads of middle aged women parading around than I can remember. Everyone was having fun.

While I was having a fascinating conversation with a limo driver and one of the comics, Jeff came back and told us that the lineup for the second show had been changed. The new order would be Polk, Dixon, Saulnier and Blanchard. Quinn would MC.

The second show started at around 10:15pm. There was close to 300 people there. It was a happy crowd already and this time Quinn was geared up for them. He opened the show with his usual energy and had them laughing. He brought up the comics in the new order and everyone had great sets. Polk left out the calendar this time and had a very funny set. He left the stage with the crowd howling. Dixon had some different stuff for this set and kept it going. Saulnier had a strong set and seemed to even his stuff out a little so it was not as abrasive. He had a good solid set but went over the time a little bit. It was important for the comics to stay on schedule as midnight was 25 minutes away. Blanchard took the stage as the headliner at about 11:38pm. He was on fire. He had the audience ready to bring in 2008.

Everyone in the room had their own little bottle of “Cooks Champagne” to toast the new year. All the comics came on stage and the video screen was lowered and ABC was projected on it. We would see the countdown to 2008 from Times Square in New York. 2008 rang in and everyone celebrated. It was a great show and the crowd stuck around a bit with the house lights on. All the comics had really good sets and it was a memorable way to ring in the New Year. The staff of The Cleveland Improv did a bang up job of keeping things moving on a night when everything goes down at midnight.

As I sat there thru the second show, in the back of the room along the wall, where I usually sit, I appreciated all the effort the staff and comics put into a show like that. It wasn’t just any night, it was New Year’s Eve. Everyone is happy or nostalgic. Everyone is celebrating. Everyone wants to forget all their problems and troubles at midnight on New Year Eve. Everyone wants to be kissed at midnight. At least I did. And the person I wanted to kiss was on stage. Damn. I was not going to get a kiss when the New Year rang in. I was going to have to wait until after midnight. I looked at the stage with 15 seconds to go in 2007. It was dark except for the screen. Ryan Seacrest was counting as was the audience and comics in the room. I saw Jeff move behind the screen and walk off the stage around the side and come towards me. For a big guy he moves pretty quick. He made it to me with 5 seconds left and I got my New Year’s kiss 2 seconds before midnight and thru the new year…

Here’s to 2008, may you laugh at yourself far more than you laugh at others. Wait, scratch that. Go out and make fun of other people, somebody’s bound to laugh…

Show up, have a drink and laugh like you have never laughed before. As far as I am concerned, if you live in Lakewood, and many of you do, you should be there. Baker, Blanchard and Sheer live the farthest away and it seems they are doing the most. Jeremy Sheer is the poster child for British Petroleum…Driving from fucking Akron to Lakewood…Everyone one of you should buy Jeremy a gas card for Chanukah.

Posting on Yucks about the lack of information is ludicrous. There is plenty of information on there. The guys updating all have fulltime jobs. Give Baker a fucking break, he is gonna be 51 in a month…As if he doesn’t do enough. He went bald over it years ago…

Promoting the comedy scene in Cleveland will promote the individual comic. Pass out a flier. Remind everyone who has told you they want to see a show to check out The Borderline. Tell them to read the info on Cleveland Yucks. Act like you are getting paid and maybe someday you will…

Mr. Herlen, please be honored by my lateness in turning in this take home test. It was a holiday weekend and I was trying to relax and enjoy the biggest turkey of them all, Jeff.

I believe the topic for open discussion was to compare and contrast “An Irregular Thanksgiving” performed by 4 local magical comedians. They are Ryan Dalton, Mike Polk, Quinn Patterson and Jeff Blanchard.

I will try to answer those questions as objectively as I can. After all, I am not a comic, but I am married to one…

1. How were the 2 nights different?

I would have to say the 2 nights were very different. First of all I wore a skirt on the first night with a black tank top and Yoga Army shirt over it with my brown 3 inch heel Matisse boots. The height gave me a definite advantage over a few people, but not Blanchard or Polk. They are pretty damn tall. On Wednesday evening I went with a dress over leggings, wearing my newly repaired Gillian Julius boots. Only a 1 inch heel, not much of advantage there, but still a great outfit.

2. Were the crowds different?

The crowd was smaller on Tuesday than on Wednesday. The crowd also was slow to warm up to Sunshine on Tuesday. Maybe because of his poor wardrobe choices for the evening . He definitely looked hotter on Wednesday night, dressed all in black. Maybe he was just a little off with the comedy on Tuesday. He was on fire on Wednesday and the crowd responded well to him. He did mention the hotness of the lights on Tuesday night, so it must have been the poor choice in clothing…

3. Were the sets different?

The guest sets were different. Jimmy Tews went up on Tuesday, (isn’t that funny) and JJ Johnson went up on Wednesday. Each comic had some great stuff. For details, see my first assignment submitted on 11-24-07.

4. What order did the comics go up?

Tuesday : Polk, Dalton, Patterson and Blanchard

Wednesday.: Dalton, Polk, Patterson and Blanchard

Picked from the magical ice bucket by an audience member chosen by Sunshine. He put forth an effort in not choosing a hot chick to pick it every time. At least that is what he said. I could not see as I was sitting in the back of the room.

5. Miscellaneous information left out of the gig report.

All of the comics had very good sets. For detail please refer to 11-24-07 gig report listed in my blog. I believe most of it is covered in there. The bits were switched around by everyone. I will say that Wednesday‘s show was probably the better of two extremely good nights of comedy. One reason could be, I am not saying it is, the wardrobe choices. For one thing, Dalton had on this great hat for his whole set on Wednesday. Purple is Polk’s color, Quinn looks good in anything and Blanchard should always go with black. It is very slimming. Sunshine’s black outfit was right out of Men’s Vogue Magazine, all the way to the PRADA eyewear he sports.

I cannot comment on the cost of parking as I wasn’t paying attention, as Jeff was driving. I did not know it would be in this assignment. I will take note of it next time

The lights must have been brighter on stage on Tuesday because Sunshine said they were hot. And he was wearing an ugly white shirt; but he did leave his jacket on while on stage, so that could account for it. I I believe my assignment is done here…

Oh, one last thing. Before the show I hear the comics mention something about “the owner” being in the audience. I think they all knew. I think Mario told them. I hope he does not get in trouble for it…

Professor Herlen, I hope this answers some of your questions. I will try to be more articulate in future compare and contrast essays. I look forward to the next one, Irregulars show that is…